Caveat Lector
You shouldn’t be reading this. I didn’t write these words for anyone else to see; this is not a diary. If you read any further you may not like what you see but that’s your problem; I didn’t invite you and this is your last warning.
CAVEAT LECTOR
I’m eleven and I’ve put up with things that nobody understands, that nobody seems to care about.
Does it matter to you that I’ve been molested?
Does it matter to you that this happens every Saturday?
Does it matter to you that I cry long into the night?
Does it matter to you that I wet my bed every night?
Does anything matter?
Can anyone hear me screaming?
Why can’t you hear me?
I want it to stop
But nobody cares
As long as my marks
Are the best in school
Nobody asks questions
Nobody notices
The tears
The anger
The pain
Boys will be boys
Is your explanation
I have to fight my own battles
But I can’t
I don’t know how to fight
I never learned
I didn’t have a teacher
September 24, 2010 at 17:37
It’s called ‘neglect’.
September 24, 2010 at 17:44
I guess it is, I never thought of it that way back then; I always idolised my parents and assumed that I was a ‘bad’ kid.
October 27, 2010 at 10:19
@Mickey: Of course it really is, but I would say that to most peeps it’s “Playing the game”, “turning a frown upside down”, “being a champ”, “not being a crybaby”, “not making a fuss”, or whatever further euphemisms they’ve come up with to convince us to burry our heart.
@Mr. McLachlan: This post made me think of a (long) quote I read a while ago and translated for a page I used to have. No idea if it would mean anything to you, but well, as I said, this made me think of it. I dug it out again and re-posted it here for you: Words more painful than a whip.
October 27, 2010 at 10:44
That’s beautiful. Reading it brought tears, it just strikes so close, but even though it’s too late for the child Malcolm there’s an incredible comfort in knowing that someone actually understood. I don’t speak German (French and Latin are my thing) but I can “feel” that this is a wonderful translation. Thank You.